Beto Poem From 1988 Reveals Just How Sick And Twisted He Is

Quirky Democrat Beto O’Rourke just announced his run for the White House and the opposition researchers are already having a field day.

The 46-year-old Texan is the darling of celebrities and bong-pounding slackers alike because “you know dude, he just wants to save the world or something…”

But in just the second day of his candidacy, the upstart who nearly toppled Ted Cruz in last November’s Senate race was already the subject of a number of embarrassing stories which one that you could expect from a man who live-streams his dental visits.

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At one time, then Robert “Bob” O’Rourke fancied himself as something of a writer and in one of his stories which is being described as a “murder fantasy” had a plotline about running over kids.

“As I neared the young ones, I put all my weight on my right foot, keeping the accelerator pedal on the floor until I heard the crashing of the two children on the hood, and then the sharp cry of pain from one of the two. I was so fascinated for a moment, that when after I had stopped my vehicle, I just sat in a daze, sweet visions filling my head.”

Guys like schlockmeister and anti-Trumper Stephen King can pull stuff like this off but one gets the idea that Beto never suspected that these writings would find their way into the public eye at such an inopportune time.

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Additionally, a Reuters profile tabbed Beto as a member of the infamous hacking collective The Cult of the Dead Cow which will do little to quash the ideas of some who found O’Rourke’s dressing up in a creepy purple sheep suit in a punk rock band was Satanic.

But the best yet?

The multi-talented eccentric was also a freaking poet!

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Thanks to the diligent muckrakers at the Daily Caller, we have yet one more example of just how totally fucking weird that this man is – and has always been.

Via The DC “Wax My Ass, Scrub My Balls” – this Beto O’Rourke Poem From 1988 Is Beyond Belief”:

Beto O’Rourke’s recently unearthed membership in the hacking group “Cult of the Dead Cow” may not have included the “edgiest sorts of hacking activity,” but it did, apparently, include writing murder fantasies and exceptionally bad poetry.

Writing under the now-exposed pseudonym “Psychedelic Warlord,” a teen-aged O’Rourke appears to be the author of a poem titled “The Song of the Cow,” published in 1988 by “cDc (Cult of the Dead Cow) communications.”

“I need a butt-shine,” the poem begins … and it really all just goes downhill from there:

I need a butt-shine,
Right now
You are holy,
Oh, sacred Cow
I thirst for you,
Provide Milk.

Buff my balls,
Love the Cow,
Good fortune for those that do.
Love me, breathe my feet,
The Cow has risen.

Wax my ass,
Scrub my balls.
The Cow has risen,
Provide Milk.

The poem, for better or for worse, has been preserved forever by the Google Wayback Machine as a part of the group’s former website,

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Beto and AOC are the reigning king and queen of the dumbasses which is more than a bit terrifying because they are the two most popular Democrats in the USA right now.

They both also appear have this weird thing for cows that defies explanation. If this was a movie a good title would be Creepshow.

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